?

[Zachs Bank]

Cmon boys and gals there is alot of couch lurckers on rite now! Post up even if its to say Kenny is ugly and Greg is older than Jimstir the potstir the potLMAOLMAO

[Zach79Z]

Greg is older then jim

[Supervisor42]

Greg is older then jimI'm older than Greg:mad:.toast

[DC2250]

THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW BUT PROBABLY DON'T

1. Money isn't made out of paper. It's made out of cotton.

2. The Declaration of Independence was written on hemp (marijuana) paper.

3. The dot over the letter "I" is called a "tittle".

4. A raisin dropped in a glass of fresh champagne will bounce up and down continuously from the bottom of the glass to
the top.

5. Susan Lucci is the daughter of Phyllis Diller.

6. 40% of McDonald's profits come from the sales of Happy Meals.

7. 315 entries in Webster's 1996 Dictionary were misspelled.

8. The 'spot' on 7-UP comes from its inventor, who had red eyes. He was albino.

9. On average, 12 newborns will be given to the wrong parents, daily.

10. Warren Beatty and Shirley MacLaine are brother and sister.

11. Chocolate affects a dog's heart and nervous system; a few ounces will kill a small sized dog.

12. Orcas (killer whales) kill sharks by torpedoing up into the shark's stomach from underneath, causing the shark to
explode.

13. Most lipstick contains fish scales (eeww).

14. Donald Duck comics were banned from Finland because he doesn't wear pants.

15. Ketchup was sold in the 1830's as medicine.

16. Upper and lower case letters are named 'upper' and 'lower' because in the time when all original print had to be set in individual letters, the "upper case" letters were stored in the case on top of the case that stored the smaller, 'lower case' letters.

17. Leonardo Da Vinci could write with one hand and draw with the other at the same time hence, multitasking was
invented.

18. Because metal was scarce, the Oscars given out during World War II were made of wood.

19. There are no clocks in Las Vegas gambling casinos.

20. The name Wendy was made up for the book Peter Pan; there was never a recorded Wendy before!

21. T here are no words in the dictionary that rhyme with: orange, purple, and silver!

22. Leonardo DaVinci invented scissors. Also, it took him 10 years to paint Mona Lisa's lips.

23. A tiny amount of liquor on a scorpion will make it instantly go mad and sting itself to death.

24. The mask used by Michael Myers in the original "Halloween" was a Captain Kirk's mask painted white.

25. If you have three quarters, four dimes, and four pennies, you have $1.19. You also have the largest amount of money in coins without being able to make change for a dollar (good to know.)

26. By raising your legs slowly and lying on your back, you can't sink in quicksand (and you thought this list was
completely useless.)

27. The phrase "rule of thumb" is derived from an old English law, which stated that you couldn't beat your wife with
anything wider than your thumb.

28. The first product Motorola started to develop was a record player for au tomobiles. At that time, the most known
player on the market was the Victrola, so they called themselves Motorola.

29. Celery has negative calories! It takes more calories to eat a piece of celery than the celery has in it to begin with. It's the same with apples!

30. Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying!

31. The glue on Israeli postage stamps is certified kosher.

32. Guinness Book of Records holds the record for being the book most often stolen from Public Libraries.

33. Astronauts are not allowed to eat beans before they go into space because passing wind in a space suit damages it. I NEED TO REMEMBER THIS.

34. George Carlin said it best about Martha Stewart. "Boy, I feel a lot safer now that she's behind bars. OJ Simpson and Kobe Bryant are still walking around; Osama Bin Laden too, but they take the ONE woman in America willing to
cook, clean, and work in the yard, and they haul her fanny off to jail

[Zach79Z]

14. Donald Duck comics were banned from Finland because he doesn't wear pants.

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Supervisor42]

THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW BUT PROBABLY DON'T

...You forgot 2:
35: Albert Einstein (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Einstein), smartest man that ever lived? Naa. There was one force in nature that he couldn't figure out.
Woman.
Einstein got a divorce in 1919 back when divorce carried a terrible stigma and divorced people were publically considered failures.

36: Thomas Edison, brilliant inventor or cruel heartless bastard? Edison opposed alternating current (http://www.wired.com/science/discoveries/news/2008/01/dayintech_0104?) (AC) over DC for cities so much that he electrocuted dogs and cats and publically electrocuted an elephant (with AC) to make his point.
He used his new invention the "movie camera" to film it.
(warning GRAPHIC) (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XlPYikt_qvo)

[outlaw77LT]

Cmon boys and gals there is alot of couch lurckers on rite now! Post up even if its to say Kenny is ugly and Greg is older than Jimstir the potstir the potLMAOLMAO

And Jeff can't spell Camaro:eek:

[torval]

Greg is older than Jim...age is just a number tho...LOL

[Damon23]

With all that to read who has time to post?

[Camaro6662]

With all that to read who has time to post?
Welcome to my world toast

[Zachs Bank]

Sorry i got this started:eek::eek: Kenny you are the last person who should talk about spelling( unless it's Greg):p:p:p:p

[outlaw77LT]

stir the pot:eek:stir the pot

[Supervisor42]

THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW BUT PROBABLY DON'T

How about this one...
37. Think riding a drag car thru the lights at 300 miles per hour is fast? Naa.
Each one of us is travelling at over 66,000 miles per hour:eek: at all times as we ride planet Earth on it's voyage around the sun. You can say you're fast now...

[Camaro6662]

This thread is going :confused::confused::confused::confused::confused:

[Zachs Bank]

But its funLMAOLMAO

[Eagle15]

Cmon boys and gals there is alot of couch lurckers on rite now! Post up even if its to say Kenny is ugly and Greg is older than Jimstir the potstir the potLMAOLMAO

X2??? Lol! Hey how goes it???

[DC2250]

Government Spending Cuts

A guy stopped at a local gas station and, after filling his tank, he paid the bill and bought a soft drink. He stood by his car to drink his cola and watched a couple of men working along the roadside. One man would dig a hole two or three feet deep and then move on. The other man came along behind him and filled in the hole. While one was digging a new hole, the other was 25 feet behind filling in the hole.

The men worked right past the guy with the soft drink and went on down the road. "I can't stand this," said the man tossing the can into a trash container and heading down the road toward the men. "Hold it, hold it," he said to the men. "Can you tell me what's going on here with all this digging and refilling?"

"Well, we work for the government and we're just doing our job," one of the men said.

"But one of you is digging a hole and the other fills it up. You're not accomplishing anything. Aren't you wasting the taxpayers' money?"

"You don't understand, mister," one of the men said, leaning on his shovel and wiping his brow. "Normally there's three of us: me, Elmer and Leroy. I dig the hole, Elmer sticks in the tree, and Leroy here puts the dirt back. Elmer's job's been cut, so now it's just me an' Leroy."

[DC2250]

How to Call the Police

George Phillips of Williston, North Dakota, was going up to bed when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window. George opened the back door to go turn off the light but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things. He phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?" and he said no. Then they said that all patrols were busy, and that he should simply lock his door and an officer would be along when available. George said "Okay," hung up, counted to 30, and phoned the police again.

"Hello. I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people in my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now cause I've just shot them all." Then he hung up. Within five minutes three police cars, an Armed Response unit, and an ambulance showed up at the Phillips residence. Of course, the police caught the burglars red-handed. One of the policemen said to George: "I thought you said that you'd shot them!" George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"

[Zachs Bank]

How to Call the Police

George Phillips of Williston, North Dakota, was going up to bed when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window. George opened the back door to go turn off the light but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things. He phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?" and he said no. Then they said that all patrols were busy, and that he should simply lock his door and an officer would be along when available. George said "Okay," hung up, counted to 30, and phoned the police again.

"Hello. I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people in my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now cause I've just shot them all." Then he hung up. Within five minutes three police cars, an Armed Response unit, and an ambulance showed up at the Phillips residence. Of course, the police caught the burglars red-handed. One of the policemen said to George: "I thought you said that you'd shot them!" George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!" The first one was okay but the second one was good!! Get a job DC you got too much free time on your hands:D:D:D:D

[Chick]

Elmer's job's been cut, so now it's just me an' Leroy."

Love it!

LMAO

[Chick]

Here's one for you DC, my favorite so far this year....


Three quarterbacks go up to heaven and arrive at the pearly gates where God is waiting for them

God asks Peyton Manning first: “What do you believe?” Peyton thinks long and hard, looks God in the eye, and says, “I believe in hard work, and in staying true to family and friends. I believe in giving. I was lucky, but I always tried to do right by my fans.” God can’t help but see the essential goodness of Manning, and offers him a seat to his left.

Then God turns to Tony Romo and says, “What do you believe?” Tony says, “I believe passion, discipline,
courage and honor are the fundamentals of life I, too, have been lucky, but win or lose, I’ve always tried to be a true sportsman, both on and off the playing fields.” God is greatly moved by Tony’s sincere eloquence, and he offers him a seat to his right.

Finally, God turns to Tom Brady: “And you, Tom, what do you believe?”

Tom replies, “I believe you’re in my seat.”

[Camaro6662]

How to Call the Police

George Phillips of Williston, North Dakota, was going up to bed when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window. George opened the back door to go turn off the light but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things. He phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?" and he said no. Then they said that all patrols were busy, and that he should simply lock his door and an officer would be along when available. George said "Okay," hung up, counted to 30, and phoned the police again.

"Hello. I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people in my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now cause I've just shot them all." Then he hung up. Within five minutes three police cars, an Armed Response unit, and an ambulance showed up at the Phillips residence. Of course, the police caught the burglars red-handed. One of the policemen said to George: "I thought you said that you'd shot them!" George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"



You RockLMAOLMAOLMAOLMAOLMAOLMAOLMAOLMAOLMAOLMAOLMAOLM AOLMAO


Now I gotta tell Larry this one ;)

[D21458P]

Greg, you better copy it and let him read it. That is tooooo funnnnny!!!!!

[Zachs Bank]

Hey Dc when you take your time off does this mean you are gonna keep us laughin????? I sure hope so You RockYou RockYou RockYou RockYou RockYou RockYou RockYou RockYou RockYou Rock

[Supervisor42]

Hey Dc when you take your time off does this mean you are gonna keep us laughin?????
On the first day of school, the children brought gifts for their teacher.

The Florist's son brought her a bouquet of flowers.

The candy-store owner's daughter gave the teacher a pretty box of candy.

Then the liquor-store owner's son brought up a big, heavy box. The teacher

lifted it up and noticed that it was leaking a little bit. She touched a drop of

the liquid with her finger and tasted it.

'Is it wine?' she guessed.

'No,' the boy replied. She tasted another drop and asked, 'Champagne'?

'No,' said the little boy......
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
...........'It's a Puppy'!

[DC2250]

A recent study found out which days men prefer to have sex. It was found that men preferred to engage in sexual activity on the days that started with the letter "T."

Examples of those days are as follows:

Tuesday

Thursday

Thanksgiving

Today

Tomorrow

Thaturday

Thunday
_________________________________

A recent survey was conducted to discover why men get out of bed in the middle of the night:

5% said it was to get a glass of water

12% said it was to go to the toilet

83% said it was to go home

__________________________________

The perfect breakfast as a man sees it...

You're sitting at the table and your son is on the cover of Wheaties,
your mistress is on the cover of Playboy, and your wife is on the back of the milk carton.
__________________________________
(Q) What's the best form of birth control after 50?

(A) Nudity
__________________________________

(Q) What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?

(A) 45 lbs
__________________________________

(Q) What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?

(A) 45 minutes
__________________________________

(Q) What's the fastest way to a man's heart?"

(A) Through his chest with a sharp knife.
__________________________________

(Q) What do you call a smart blonde?

(A) A golden retriever
__________________________________

(Q) Why did OJ Simpson move to W. Virginia?

(A) Everyone has the same DNA.
__________________________________

(Q) What' s the difference between a Southern zoo and a Northern zoo?

(A) A Southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the
cage along with a recipe.
__________________________________

(Q) What's the Cuban national anthem?

(A) Row, row, row your boat.
__________________________________

(Q) What's the difference between a Northern fairytale and a Southern
fairytale?

(A) A Northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time."
A Southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this

[D21458P]

Lmaolmaolmaolmao

[Chick]

(A) A Southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the
cage along with a recipe.

Lol!!!! That's funny! LMAO